I have old eyes.


:/


I'll be getting an apartment in Brazoria/Lake Jackson soon.



I'm feeling very unstable.
Somehow, I'm not.

Nikon d80 with Nikon 50mm f/1.8 lens
affordable Dahon bike
better car

I willl have all of these by the end of this year, starting with the camera (which will hopefully by before summer) and ending with the car.

I know I am wrong.
The guilt says that bluntly enough.

What really disturbs me is how I don't know why I can't just not FEEL wrong.
I hate feeling wrong.

I hate that I can never feel right for a long time.
I give in to myself way too easily, so easily that..

well I guess I have nothing.
I have no motivation.

So I settle for trying to justify my wrongs.
And what's really sad is that I think I'm getting the hang of this.
If only I could just keep myself busy.

He used to tell me that all the time.
"Just keep yourself busy, Karinia, and you'll be fine."
So I don't get to thinking and stuff..

She analyzes the debris in her shoes, wondering why it looks so familiar.

I keep having this dream that I'm at the fair.. and I'm in one of those obstacle things for the kids.. and I keep trying to get out but I can't. And I try to escape by jumping the fences but there's always these dogs that will try and kill me in the other yard areas. It's really.. weird. I think last night was the first time I had this dream in months. Blah.

I'm getting sick.